What is True Power?
I love this quote, often misattributed to Bruce Lee or Warren Buffet:
✨ “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything said to you. True power is sitting back and observing with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, then everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.” ✨
It captures something I’ve been reflecting on deeply: the difference between power and force—and how to remain in my power when confronted with force.
The Nature of Power
True power is rooted. It carries inner stability and discernment. It doesn’t seek conflict, but neither does it avoid truth. Power stays grounded in challenge, builds trust, and inspires possibility.
Power knows what it needs, asks directly, and takes no more than its fair share—while supporting others to get what they need too.
Power is Nelson Mandela in the Truth and Reconciliation process—choosing healing over vengeance after decades of injustice. Power is Jacinda Ardern after Christchurch—leading with compassion and firm action, proving that empathy can also be decisive.
It’s easy to start a war or villainize others. It’s harder to coexist productively—or even just civilly—when differences run deep. Finding a path doesn’t always mean becoming close. Sometimes it’s walking away. Sometimes it’s standing side-by-side at a respectful distance.
Power is staying rooted in what builds, rather than destroys.
The Nature of Force
Force, on the other hand, divides. It exploits and deceives. It coerces, manipulates, and dominates. But it cannot build.
A forceful response is sometimes necessary, but it is rarely sustainable. Force burns out. Power endures.
My Personal Lesson
This distinction is not just theoretical—it’s personal.
I grew up with force as a constant. In response, I built a strong will. That’s a gift, but it also meant I moved through the world with one key tool: action.
Over time, I learned that other tools—empathy, curiosity, innovation, inner alignment, pausing—are equally essential. The most powerful tools are relational, including how we relate to ourselves.
When I am centered, I am clear. I see more creative options. I avoid escalation—unless escalation is truly necessary, which it sometimes is. But often, calm presence achieves a reset. And when it doesn’t, a decisive “no” can carry immense power.
Why This Matters Now
We live in a time when this distinction between power and force matters more than ever.
Chaos—sometimes deliberate—seeks to unground us. Power doesn’t mean never being shaken. It means choosing right action in the midst of uncertainty.
The most important practice is simple:
Stop. Ground. Breathe. Get clear. Move from that place.
Reflection
Power endures because it builds. Force burns out because it destroys.
As leaders, partners, parents, and citizens, the invitation is to cultivate the kind of power that stays steady, that connects rather than divides, that endures where force cannot.
👉 How do you distinguish between power and force in your own life—or in leadership?
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Julie Bauch is a deep transformational coach who supports individuals, leaders, groups, and organizations. Her work draws from neuroscience, wisdom traditions, somatic healing practices, Integral Coaching®, the work of Thomas Hübl, and a deep commitment to inner and outer coherence.
